KITTY LOVE.

Shush Boy, Shut Your Lips.

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before i forget. happy 3 monthsary to me. to think of it, its amazing. 4 years and a half of friendship. and still counting. finally we both came to a decision to be together. the times i had with him for this 3 months was perfect. even though how much we both fought, we're still holding on. thats what makes us stronger, learning from mistakes we make. hey, like i said, YOU WILL NEVER FIND A GIRL WHO LOVES YOU MORE THEN I DO. bare that in mind. lastly, i love you truckloads.

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click to enlarge.

like seriously, hw sweet can this girl get.
bsok makan wonton aye? ha-ha.
i nak banana!
i nak bebe skali!
oh, oh and onion ringggg.
*insert smile*

boyf is finally back hm, yay!
finally i have the appetite to eat.
nom nom nom, fridge here i comeee.

before i go, heres a little convo with brother.
me: *stood up, walk to the table, stares into thin air*
brother: faiz online?
me: huh? *looks at monitor* tak uh. asal?
brother: tak, kau mcm gelisah gitu.

i have to admit, ive been staring at absolutely nothing.
why aye? am i gg crazy or what?
help me out please.

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dear boyf, if u read ur msg in tagged. start frm the post on Saturday August 29th 11.44pm. and read all the way up.

P.S: AFT READING, MISS CALL ME AND I'LL CALL YOU BACK, I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY.

i'll wait.

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im still speechless.

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conversation with someone living in boyf hse, not sure if its a guy or girl tho.

me: hello, faiz ader?
someone: faiz? faiz ke faiq?
me: faiz.
someone: z aye?
me: uh2.
someone: oh dier takder, dier gie malaysia.
me: *kruk kruk kejap siah aku* okay...terime kasih, bye.
someone: okay bye.

SO MUCH FOR THATTTTTTT

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Baby, you my everything, you all I ever wanted
We can do it real big, bigger than you ever done it
You be up on everything, other girls ain't never on it
I want this forever, I swear I can spend whatever on it

baby you the best
you the you the best
baby you the best
you the you the best
the best i ever had
the best i ever had
the best i ever had
best i ever had

i miss hearing this song on my cell. because its boyfs ringtone and message tone.
sigh.

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*checks cell* sigh, still no sign of boyf. i waited for him till 2 in the morning last night. soon, i was too tired, i fell asleep. i knw his asleep right nw. cause its rainning and people love sleeping on rainny days. i shall wait, wait and wait somemore.

i had the most craziest dreams tday. i dreamed that my fingers were full of torns and my fingers were bleeding as i took out the torns one by one. it felt so real cause it hurts like hell. when i woke up, i couldnt move my fingers. i fell asleep again. i dreamed that i was in sch with my girlies waiting for boyf. then boyf and ein arrive, we walk off. boyf was saying all kinds of silly stuff to me. then suddenly me, edaya and our BOYFS were walking at this place. edaya had a boyf, cool kann. hahhh. he looks like marzuki but he wasnt. but to my suprise, boyf was tall and had this long straight emo hair. he looked gorgeous, trust me. aft that, i woke up. i thought about boyf and checked my cell. nothing new.

3 ppl wished me already, thanks korang(:

im currently online right nw, was hoping boyf replied my msg at tagged. but nooo. the first person who chatted with me was afeeqie. he said 4 days to go, yay!. nnti kite gie semb sec same2 tmr okay?

please dont tell me he forgotten, wait and see. update soon.

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nak muntah! nak muntah!
please bare with me tday.

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tick tock tick tock, its alright past midnight.

edayaaaaaaa, i cant resistttttttt!

help me, help me, help me.

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FAIZ, MANE YOU?
=[

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PHOTOSHOOT & ELLY'S 17TH BIRTHDAY.
bestest outing i ever had(:

besides that, i wonder whre is boyf now.
*thinks*

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i bet your wondering why im up early on a saturday. well, firstly mom text me in the morning saying my cousin, Nabil is outside sleeping on the sofa. i had a flu aft reading the text. it was annoying so i woke up. i peeped outside and saw Nabil fast asleep. i was trying to creep outside but my foot keep making cracking noises. im in need of bathing, very soon. i wonder why is he here, hmmmpf. takder peace la kan kalau gini.

i rinduuuuuu boyf, eversince his hp went missing. it was a nightmare for me. cause im not able to knw his whreabout. my ppaid is still low, so anything miss call me and i'll miss call you back k.

all i had yesterday was chips and i gain a kilo, what the f.

im off to calling dayaa and bath. will update again.

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urghh help meee! i strain my foot earlier tday. and it hurts like hell. its difficult for me to walk around. tsk tsk.

boyf lost his cell a day ago, it sucks. i dont even know how am i suppose to get in touch with him. besides chatting of cause. last option, he have to websms me. or just simply call my cell.

i was suprise on what i just read on my tagboard. cheer up okay bbygirl? maybe he feels insecure. you always find a way to work things out, im sure you can do it again. look back at the past, how many people u tried to get back into your life, countless right? so i believe u can do it. unless you dont want it anymore. and yeah, we've both moved on with our own lifes. but you knw, your always my childhood bestfriend i ever had at heart. i'll never erase the memories i had with you. i bet noone except me, have gone thru what you been thru last time. ive seen it with my own very eyes, i heard you tearing on the phone begging me on what u should do. ive heard all your sermons more then anyone else. your still fresh in my mind and in my heart. i know we're able to catch up soon, promise(:

Quick note to EDAYA: i need my thumbdrive with full of pictures in need. bring it on monday. i need it for mdp also.

Quick note to BOYFRIENDDDD: Well, like i said awhile ago, i'll wait for you to call or text tmr. but if you need me, just call or text tday. i'll leave me cell unsilent. i love you.

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im like really really exhausted. i went online just so to see if boyf is thre. but he isnt. just a quick note: PLEASE BE AWAKE BY 7.30 AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE CALL ME, I'LL WAIT FOR YOU CALL.

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I MISS MUHAMMAD FAIZ BIN M.I MISS MUHAMMAD FAIZ BIN M.
I MISS MUHAMMAD FAIZ BIN M.I MISS MUHAMMAD FAIZ BIN M.
I MISS MUHAMMAD FAIZ BIN M.I MISS MUHAMMAD FAIZ BIN M.
I MISS MUHAMMAD FAIZ BIN M.I MISS MUHAMMAD FAIZ BIN M.
I MISS MUHAMMAD FAIZ BIN M.I MISS MUHAMMAD FAIZ BIN M.
I MISS MUHAMMAD FAIZ BIN M.I MISS MUHAMMAD FAIZ BIN M.
I MISS MUHAMMAD FAIZ BIN M.I MISS MUHAMMAD FAIZ BIN M.
I MISS MUHAMMAD FAIZ BIN M.I MISS MUHAMMAD FAIZ BIN M.
I MISS MUHAMMAD FAIZ BIN M.I MISS MUHAMMAD FAIZ BIN M.

TOOOO MUCHHHHHHH!

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I MISS THEM, I MISS THE DAY.
sadly, i think we've all moved on with our own lives.
except for me, boyf, dayaa and sha of course.
but i miss the rest.

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AN EXTREMELY LONG AND BORING POST.

okay sumpah i got nth to do. sch was okay tday, just because of the phototaking. and guess what! guess what! im not in the debar list. i was so afraid to look, trust me. my heart skip a beat. yay to me.

i guess today wasnt boyf's day at all. he gotten into some kind of a very petty fight in sch. his daddy got into an accident awhile ago. although he doesnt seem to be bothered. but i know deep down, his screaming his lungs out for help. and you knw what, ive found out something about him. i never knew that he has a soft side. he never showed it to me before. well yeah, everybody has their soft side but you have to find it to know it. it all happen when we were webcaming. all of the sudden we both were in a bad mood. we ignored each other and did our own stuff. he was playing game and i was stonning staring at him. i remembered i was so pissed off i dint want to talk to him even tho my fingers were really really itchy. then i started to write my diary. i wrote this whole paragraph about him. he chatted with me and asked what was i doing, i said i was writing. he said he wanted to read what i wrote. so i type it on notepad and send it to him. i look at him while he was reading. he was smiling at the first two lines. but aft awhile, his smile faded and tears started rolling down his cheeks. i was suprised, i immediate calm him down. he said the whole thing was really deep. tears started to pile up, and i begin breaking down. i dint know by just a simple letter can touch someones heart deeply. one thing for sure, he will never find a girl who loves him more than i do *smiles*

im extremely sleepy. i wish i could crash, but i couldnt. im waiting for boyf to text. i wish i had a scotchtape or something to tape my eyelids. ha-ha.

ive made alot of observations for the past few years. i always wanted to know, what issit like to be in other people shoes. like the show freaky friday. wouldnt it be cool. ive always been told that, attitude shows alot about you. ive been observing people and listening to all their sermons. its hw they grew up, how they have been treated. by friends, familys, exboyfriends, exgirlfriends, whoever. thats how they got their attitude. its a pity you know. knowing that this whoever is rebellious in sch, but at home his a totally different person. for example being beaten up or whatsoever. sigh, one thing for sure. dont judge the book by its cover.

i reallly need a ciggie break, hmmmpf. im all out of ideas. im off to doing whatever. tata people.

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its almost 2, bler drg nk balik nie? i feel like hugging them all at once, really. im online right now so when i see their name pop up, im gnna suprise them all saying i miss them. but noone is online): besides that, boyf hven replied my text. idk whre is he nw. maybe ohw home. aku rindu dier. sigh.

someone text me at 4am in the morning while i was sleeping like a baby. she said happy 19th birthday. woah, hw i wish i was 19 and it was already my birthday. but no, im only turning 17. tsk tsk. so i reply, you got the wrong person. ha-ha. kacao je orang tdo.

tmr i schling and im hving test. i hvent studied. my book is in sch, hw aye? hw aye miraa?

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ahh, i feel so lifeless. so this is how it feels like if i dont have any friends. i have to admit, it sucks. it also feels like thres an important part of you which is missing. i felt numb today, all thanks to my flu. i lay in bed all day, to make things worst, i also had a slight fever, my eyes were swollen and red. i look like a freaking zombie. i decided to take advantage of the flu to clean up my room, do the laundry. which right now im darn lazy to hang.

im suppose to go out tday. but due to my sickness and wanie forgotten to text. we can catch up another time.

finally today is saturday, all my babies are coming back frm camp tmr. yayyyyy! im hving a photoshoot on 26th august at yishun. at the padang2 thinggy, i was thinking aft that we could go to bottle tree, since we're already thre. i cant wait.

im suprised for being such a good girlfriend. boyf must be proud of me. my phone dint rang at all for the past two days. i dint went online. i dint step out frm the house. if your wondering what i did, i obviously dint touch the remote(i dont watch telly much), i lay down, sleep, eat, walk around the house for no reason, keep gg to the kitchen to get myself plain water, keep gg to the toilet, sit around, day dream, played game, watch videos. thats about it. boring kannn! i dont know how wanie spend her days at home. hw aye wanie? ajar siket boleh? i know you dont enjoy staying at home just like i do, but you dont seem to be complaining about it as much as i do. ha-ha.

yaa know, im starting to trust boyf even more. i know his ears are gonna bleed very soon if i go on about my jealousy problems. well sure, sometimes the things he say or do makes me feel at my lowest. i bet his also tired of convincing me. im convinced enough(:

i secretly grab someones picture. boyf i gnna be suprised if he sees her picture in my folder. the reason why is that i wanted to be wayyy way wayyyyyyyyyy better then she is.

i wonder what are my babies doing right now, i miss themmm.

miraaaaaaaaaaa! its a deal aye, next week attend all modules *winks*

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Tentang Cinta

you guys have to watch this. its about this couple. this guy happen to have this particular sickness and died with his girl by his side. on her bday she receives a present frm her exboyf. blablabla, met a new guy, fell in love and....watch it to find out yourself(:

thanks to boyf to make the effort to call. i love youu, hope to meet u up realllll sooon.

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BORRINGGG, GRRRRRR!

the camp whre boyf is at most probably takder reception, tsk tsk tsk.

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this favourite boy of mine is gg off to camp for 3 days, starting from tmr.

this favourite girl of mine is gg off to camp for 3 days, starting from tmr.

so, what im trying to say is, THEY ARE LEAVING ME HOME ALONE FOR 3 DAYS WITHOUT ANY OF THEIR COMPANY OR ENTERTAINMENT. thats what im trying to say. isnt it just sad? yeah i know, i should have join the cca. but ohh welll, skali skale miss out on stuff takper kan. all i can say is, i am really really gnna miss korangg. dayaa was saying thre wouldnt be any reception thre, ye ke ye ke? abeh macam mane? macam mane nk msg boyf, kalau aku pengsan ke saket ke, camner? nak carik saper? for now, the answer will be, carik abang laaa. i bet he can entertain my sillyness for 3 days, boleh kan? kk, i now im startin to blabber all kinds of stupid stuff right now. but to be frank, im starting to panic. ive never been in a situation whre all my bestfriends are away, always thre is one whos still rotting at home. but noo, all of them are gone. yes, i admit. im not independent. besides that, im not gg sch tmr. cause daddy forgot to leave me sch money for tmr. which means i dont have any ezlink left. so yay! boleh tdo pt uma. klaa klaaaaaa, enough said.

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my stomach is grumbling, but i dont want to and i dont wish to eat.

my brother is down with fever, i dont want to get infected.

im exhausted, i feel like sleeping but i cant.

im getting a sore throat very soon.

boyf isnt awake yet, i have something to tell him.

tmr is schling, blearghs.

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yesterday was a blast, but i hated the humidity and the crowd.

i dont know why im up so early tday, i was planning to wake up atleast at 1 or 2 in the afternoon. i woke up and i thought about what me and boyf were talking about yesterday. it was so hard for me to control, tears were pilling up. i breakdown. those words still lingers in my mind. i dint realise i was so hurt. i was hurt cause i couldnt be the best, im hurt cause im not up to his standard. im was never close to his dream girl. ive always tried my best to be his the one, his everything. no, im not gg to give up. maybe someday i might be able to reach his standard, but i takes awhile. the more i thought of it, i breakdown harder. i send him a very very long text, he hvent replied as his still asleep. i would just like to apologise, tsk. i still love you okay.

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i just thot of something. i wna give boyf the most bestest monthsary present ever! i cant wait.

a few more weeks to my birthday and if im not wrong, it falls on the fasting month. ive already pile up all my wishes. here it is:

i want the presence of boyf the WHOLE day.
i want spastiks to ask me out for buke same-same.
be awake till 2am in the morning, online.
i want boyf to make me happy the WHOLE day.
i want spastiks to have fun as much as possible.
i want to ask daddy for money to buy all my cravings for the day. (eg. frappe mocha, kinder bueno, DONUT, etc) all those food that makes me gain a kilo or two for the day, idc.

oh, i just remembered that its a schling day. HAHAHAHAH, how droll. but atleast i end at 12. i cant wait, even tho its only 8th august. but most importantly, i want the presence of all my love ones, especially to spastik and boyf, is a must to be with me. yayness!

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my left eye, my throat, my neck hurts. sigh. thres 3 weeks and 6 days to go to lose wgt for my bet with boyf. i have to admit, eversince his sick, he lost wgt. cause when he webcam with me, his face seems to get smaller. its a good thing for him, but not for me. im feeling at my lowest. im gnna try not to eat, at all. like what wanie said on my tagboard, im gnna murder myself by not eating and sleeping. but well, i need my sleep. ha-ha. wanie, i rindu you.

boyf if your reading this, i would just like to say that im missing you alot already, by alot means, a whooole lot. i dont get to meet you for 5 days and it already seems like forever. webcam isnt enough for me. its been awhile since i heard your voice, your laughter. i miss it. i miss everything! i miss taking the bus with you to sch everymorning, i miss disturbing you while you sleep. hah, im smiling already. thinking of him always makes me smile. but what i miss the most is your cheeks, you know, i know why right *winks* hoping to see you soon, love you(:

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it breaks my heart so much seeing boyf in this condition. i webcam with him awhile ago, i thot i could cheer him up. but i failed. what worries me more is that, his tempreture keeps going up. i hope you get better soon okay? i know deep down your strong. and remember what i say, takmu ikot kan sangat. i insist not to text him while i was in sch. although i couldnt keep my itchy fingers from pressing the send button, i resisted. i sayang you tau, get well soon okay.

speaking of sch, i reached sch an hr late. i immediate pass my ca the appeal letter. i hope it will be approved. i dint have the mood for anything today. all the smiles and laughter was all fake. i wasnt happy nor was i cheered up. something suprised me tday in sch, heres the conversation.

me: *shouts across the room talking to feeqah*
wai yin: (who was sitting next to me) wahh, you talk so loud uh.
me: really? sorry uh.
wai yin: why you look so stress? (she wasnt even looking at me)
me: uh? how you knw im stress?
wai yin: i know laa, can see.

i dont know what she meant by can see, she wasnt looking at me at all. maybe by the way i reacted or maybe we just have that vibe since our birthday falls on the same day. and yeah, i was stressed out. millions of things are on my mind right now, main is the debar and boyf. i dont even have the appetite to eat, frankly i am starving right now.

what annoys me most tday is that, i was waiting for the train at yishun. when the train arrived. thre was this man in a well dress suit standing right in front of the door on the right. as soon as the door opens, he dint even shifted abit. im dissapointed, someone who looks really intelligence owns a peanut for a brain. he continued standing thre while we all squeeze our way in. when i was alighting, he was still standing thre. i pushed him just so i could find space and rolled my eyes on him. i wasnt the only one whos pissed off, trust me.

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happy advanced 17th birthday to my matrep friend. excuse the face please. anyways, i hvent met this boy for mths now. eversince that thingg he did. i happen to remember his bday cause i was scrolling thru my birthday msgs and i saw his msg. so yeah, happy birthday again! and aku rindu kacau kau bodoh!

besides that, boyf is getting a new lappy! yayy! nak pinjam boleh -.-

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im startin to miss you guys already.

received a text from my lecturer this morning, guess what. AKU KENE DEBAR. just because i dint tap my attendance since 14 july. what the? i came to sch every single day for nothing. i attend classes for nothing. she say me on certain days of her modules and how can she say that my attendance was not up to date? i dont get it, tmr im gnna appeal for sure.

to boyf, get well soon okay? i'll pray everynight for you to get better. please go see the docter if your free. i might not be able to see you for the couple of days, its okay. but just dont slip away from me again. i dont wish to go thru what we've gone thru last month. thats my worst nightmare.

im starving right now. but i cant eat at a time like this. boyf is sick, mira is sick, im gnna be debar and MAYBE im gnna be grounded very very soon or worst curfew. all because of that fcuken pervert who followed me and dayaa back home. dayaa was safe but i wasnt. cause he was near my house. thank goodness i live on the first floor. if i had to take the lift or the stairs. gosh, god knows what will happen.

brother gg out in awhile, soon i will alone at home, again. im in need of someone right now. oh yeah, speaking of someone. boyf hp is spoiled again. spoiled means cant answer calls. seriously, does this things always happens to me? answer is, YES, ALWAYS.

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firstly i would like to thank boyf for entertaining me last night. i woke him up just to tell him that im bored and he immediately when online just so we could webcam. sweet kannn! he looked so freaking adorable cause he just woke up. thank you sayang.

im gg out to town with my usual groupies tday. i cant wait! sadly, mira and boyf cant come cause mira is hving fever, boyf is off to jb to attend a wedding. get well soon okay mira(: i was hoping for the both of them to come actually. nothing more to say. tata people.

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Hi, My Name Is Erni. Im 19 And In Love With The Most Beautiful Man Ive Ever Set My Eyes On. The End.